My SanityRium

Saturday, May 31, 2008

The past few days have been really crazy for me. I think as a woman, this might have happened to you. You know, to go crazy in thinking if your pregnant or not. My monthly visits are always late, so I have this thing called LUNAR in my palm pilot just so it can keep track of my visits and actually calculate the estimated date I'm going to have it the following months. Well, this time, even my palm pilot was way off in guessing.

As it happened, everything was so late. I felt so bloated and no pimples coming out in any place on my face, as I would experience when I have my visitor. So, I assumed I was pregnant. I have been on the edge because I want to be pregnant, but, I keep on thinking, it can't be good at this time. See, I will be having a 18+hr flight going home to PI, back and forth that would be 36+ hours total. It can't be good for a pregnant woman, right? And plus, I'm supposed to have a great time eating anything, drinking (not that I really drink alcohol) anything, with my family that I haven't seen in 4 years!

While waiting for my period, I was in this dilemma. I was so happy for the possibility that I was pregnant but thinking about the trip, I didn't want to think bad things happening to me or the baby. I don't know, I might just be ignorant on these things but I was in doubt. But in the end, I said God is the one who will decide and whatever it is, we will just work it out.

And so, yesterday, God answered me. I had my period. And boy, it was so painful I couldn't even remember ever having this dilemma. Now, I am still in pain from it. But knowing I am definitely not pregnant is a bit disappointing, though. Originally, my hubby and I decided to start having a baby next year. That might be what's gonna happen....and I can't wait...God permits, I will be the happiest woman in the world!

posted by isay at 7:36 AM -

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